Seek stimulation, merging, losing / finding oneself in another, chemistry, vulnerability, moth to flame, creating something that transcends themselves. Relationships can turn into a platonic companionate dynamic - love each other but not “in love”. Can avoid deeper intimacy by always interacting via a social script. May not allow for partner to be an individual. Trouble tolerating differences - always want to be on the same page. Pitfalls - don’t consider passion enough. Sex is about emotional bonding, expressing love and affection, tenderness, being in sync, sharing tastes and preferences, playfulness. Good conversations and shared activities. Social status (in with their chosen crowd, incl “in with the out crowd”). Typical stuff they will seek in a partner: shared religion, politics, interests and hobbies. Seek relating, connecting (especially mentally and emotionally), alliances, status, ideology, tribes, appropriateness, similarity, friendship. Can have trouble leaving bad relationships because of a sense of duty and commitment. Romantic relationships can devolve into “roommates” or “parent and child”. Can be too independent and end up leading separate lives. Looking to check off boxes for needs - can be transactional and excessively rational. Pitfalls - don’t consider if they actually like someone. Sex is about satisfying the needs, sheer physical experience, creature comfort, relaxation, lusty, animalistic, and sensual. Typical stuff they will seek in a partner: physical fitness or signs of health, sensuality, a complement in building/running a home and family (I cook, you’re good with money), loyalty, “what do you bring to the table”, respect for individuality, commitment to meeting each other’s needs as a foundation for romance. Seek autonomy, resources (physical and non physical), self-expression, strength where they’re weak, physical comforts and pleasures. Instinct overview: all instinctual types seek connection (not just sexual), but the difference is the focus on what kind Then I’ll follow with separate posts broken into triads: To start off, a quick overview of the instincts. Caveat: I’m describing average to unhealthy types, as healthier versions of each type will obviously have a healthier approach to relationships. I thought it’d be a cheeky way to explore the differences in the instinctual variants of each type and how it affects how each operates romantically. I’m going to post a brief description of how to “seduce” each enneagram type by instinctual variant. If you have questions, create a post, or feel free to message the moderators. Information on Enneagram type relations and compatibility can be found at Enneagram Institute's website Questions The directional theory of the enneagram can be found here: 9 types Some of the best type descriptions online are from Enneagram Underground, 9types, and Enneagram Dimensions (PDF google doc) It might be necessary to retake the test a few times before you can narrow down your type. This Duniho Enneagram Test may be useful in determining your type. How to find your typeĪs with the MBTI, research will be more reliable than tests, though tests may give one an idea of where to begin looking. A basic introduction to the system can be found at The Enneagram Institute. The Enneagram is a model of human personality based on nine types. This is a community for discussion of the Enneagram and related topics.
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